


Astronaut

by Blackenedwhite



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:20:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackenedwhite/pseuds/Blackenedwhite
Summary: Mainly Ellie & JJ quality time. Lost of Ellie/Dina talk.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 228





	1. Chapter 1

After the event in TLOU2, Ellie went back to Jackson. On a quest to grovel and beg Dina for forgiveness. Much to Ellie's disappointed Dina didn't seem to be budging. However she had given in and started letting Ellie spend a couple of hour a week with JJ. Which Ellie was extremely greatful for. Of course she wanted them both back. But JJ was better than none.

Ellie wokes up and instantly smiles. Saturday, which means its an Ellie and JJ day. She pulls herself out of the bed and quickly gets ready for the day. 

She had spent the last week getting all the supplies they would need to do some baking. Ellie wasn't sure if JJ had ever baked anything before. Getting all the right supplies for that sort of thing is pretty expensive in a post-apocalyptic world. It took her a couple of weeks and alot of scavenging for cake tins ect. But she was sure that the memories would make it all worthwhile. 

Once washed and dressed Ellie leaves her home. "Morning" Ellie smiles at Maria who is walking past her place. Probably going to the stables. 

"Haven't you got JJ today?" Maria asks confused. 

"Now going to pick him up" 

"Have fun" Maria waves goodbye.

Ellie makes her way to Dina and JJ's place. Things were still a little awkward between her and Dina. Maybe they always would be. Ellie didn't care, what mattered was she got to spend time with the boy that she loved more than anything. Ellie takes a deep breath stood at Dina's front door. She lifts her hand and knocks on the old wood three times. 

"Hey" Dina gives Ellie a small smile, after she opens the door. 

"Hi, is he ready?" 

"Almost, come in" Dina moves to the side to allow Ellie inside. 

"Mummy" JJ giggles running over to Ellie. 

Ellie awkwardly rubs her neck and bends down. "Hey buddy, it's Ellie. Remember ? " 

"It's okay" Dina sighs. "I mean if he wants to call you that... I mean you are his mom... If it's what you wa-" she rambles before Ellie interrups. 

"Of course it's what I want" Ellie grins, she pulls the little boy into her arms. "My little potato" she whispers into his hair. "You could always spend the day with us" Ellie asks looking up to Dina. 

"I'm busy" Dina replies. Although she didn't know why because Ellie knew that was a lie the second it left Dina's lips. 

Ellie nods. "Well you know where to find us if you change your mind" Ellie picks up JJs coat. "Here my little monster" she puts his coat on him. "Tell mama goodbye" 

"Bye bye mama" JJ runs over to Dina. 

Dina picks JJ up. She places a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I love you, have fun with mummy okay?" Dina says, making Ellie melt into a thousand pieces. JJ nods and kisses his mum cheek. 

Dina hands JJ to Ellie, they all wave goodbye as Ellie walks to her place with JJ in her arms.

"I missed you buddy" 

"I miss you two, mama miss you swell" JJ looks at Ellie. "Mama cry"

Ellie frowns. "What do you mean JJ, why does mama cry" Ellie opens her front door and walks inside. 

"Mama cry for you, she miss you. Dark time I hear mama cry" JJ tells Ellie. "I make mama happy gain" 

Ellie sighs and kisses JJ's nose, if only he could understand. "You make mama the happiest, bud"  
Ellie sits on the sofa with JJ in her lap. "One day you'll understand all of this bud. But just know I love your mama okay" 

JJ nods. "Mama love you too, she tell me!" 

"I know she does bud" Ellie kisses his head. "How about we make some cakes ?" Ellie smiles trying to change the topic of conversation. Ellie removes JJ's jacket. Then gets out all of the cake ingredients. 

"Here bud" Ellie hands JJ a bowl of flour. "Pour it in their" she points to the box mixing bowl. JJ pours it in. "Good job" Ellie high fives the boy making him giggle. Ellie hands JJ all the ingredients to put into the bowl. Then she passed him a spoon. "Mix it up" 

JJ mixes the ingredients a little too rough and ends causing a flour cloud. Ellie and JJ both burst out in laughter as flour covers their faces. "A little slower bud... Yeah you got it" Ellie smiles watching her boy. 

The two of them successfully bake 12 cupcakes and eat 11 of them. JJ insisted that the one with a special pink heart on the top was for his mama. Ellie loved the boys caring nature. 

"We best get you back to mama" Ellie sighs. Watching JJ play on the ground with her astronaut figure. 

JJ looks at the figure in his hand and pouts. "Noo"

Ellie sits down beside JJ. "You like that huh?" She smiles taking the figure. JJ nods. "Someone very special gave this to me" Ellie smiles thinking about Joel. "I think he would be happy if I gave it to you" she hands JJ the figure back. 

His face lights up. "I keep it?" He asks. 

Ellie nods. "You need to take good care of it, it means alot to me" 

"I promise I look after him, forever" JJ grins hugging the figure close to his chest.


	2. Reminiscing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you who requested this to be a longer story. So glad your enjoying it. Let me know what you think. Also if you have any suggestions for future chapters 😁

Dina opens her front door. "Hi baby boy" she grins. She takes JJ from Ellie's arms. "Did you guys have a good day?" Dina asks. 

"We did" Ellie replies with a smile. "Oh before I forget" she hands Dina the cupcake. "Potato made this for you" 

Dina fake gasps as she takes the cupcake. "You did?" She grins. "Thank you!" She gently kisses jj's cheek. "It's the bestest cupcake I ever did see!" 

JJ giggles at his mama as she fusses over him. "Bye buddy" Ellie pouts pinching his nose. 

"Mummy no" JJ cries holding his arms out to Ellie. Both Ellie and Dina's hearts break at the sight of their baby boy. Breaking his heart with his arms streached out for his mum. 

"Bud" Ellie sniffs holding back her tears. She gently kisses his head. "I love you"

"Mummy" JJ cries. 

"Are you busy?" Dina asks Ellie.

"No" 

Dina takes a deep breath. "You wanna come in, give him his bath and put him to bed?" 

Ellie's face lights up within an instant. "I would love that, thank you" 

Dina moves aside to let Ellie into her house. She watches Dina sit on one of the two sofas. Ellie sits on the other. Within a heartbeat JJ is curled up in Ellie's lap gripping onto her flannel. His cheeks are blotchy and soaking wet with tears. He has a snotty nose which makes little snot bubbles as he try to calm his breathing. Ellie picks up the pack of baby wipes from the side. "Here buddy" she smiles softly as she cleans JJ's cheeks and nose. "What was all the fuss for, hey bud" she lays him flat against her chest. He instantly snuggles his head into her neck. Ellie runs gentle circles on his back. 

Dina smiles to herself as she watches them. She missed this more than anything. She missed seeing them together. witnessing how much they loved eachother. It gave her comfort that JJ had someone in the world who loved him as much as she herself did. Ellie changed whenever she was around JJ. Every part of her softened. Her voice, Sher smile, her touch. Everything. Ellie was made to be a mother, anyone who was lucky enough to see her with JJ could tell that. 

"Your so good with him" Dina says in complete awe. 

Ellie smiles at Dina. "He's my boy, plus I'm kinda making up for lost time" Ellie frowns. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you" Ellie looks down at JJ who's now got a case of the hick ups. "But him" Ellie shakes her head. "How could anyone do that, look at him" Ellie's eyes start to water. 

"Hey" Dina walks over to the sofa and sits beside Ellie and JJ. "You need to forgive yourself Ellie" she rests a hand on Ellie's knees. 

"I don't think I can" she sniffs. "I don't deserve him" 

"Maybe not" Dina gently squeezes her knee. "But he deserves you, he loves you so fucking much Ellie" 

Ellie nods. She rests her chin on his head and takes a deep breath. "My little potato" she smiles. "I sat with him all night like this after he was born" 

ellie remembers laying a sleeping newborn JJ across her chest. She rocked him gently as she sat at Dina's bedside watching her sleep. Dina had just been through the worst 14 hours of her life. "I felt so useless" Ellie pouts. "You were in so much pain, all I could do was hold you" most of Dina's labour concisted of Ellie holding Dina close to her chest. Rubbing the bottom of Dina's back. Desperately trying to ease her through each contraction. 

"You were amazing" Dina smiles. "I wouldn't have got through that without you" 

"When he was finally here you were so exhausted. I held him for hours while you slept... I knew right then that I loved him" Ellie kisses jj's head. "I was worried, when you were pregnant" Ellie sighs. "Worried that I wouldn't bond with him. But he's half you, how could I not fall in love with him. The moment I saw him, he had me wrapped around his finger" Ellie giggles. 

"I love you Ellie" Dina sighs. She gently leans in and kisses Ellie's lips. Ellie's hands find the back of her neck. She deepens the kiss. Dina pulls away and stands up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that" Dina puts her face in her hands. 

She wanted more than anything to tell Ellie's it's okay, to kiss her and hold her tight. But it wasn't okay. She wasn't worth sticking around for before and she needed to remember that. She begged Ellie to stay that night. She told her she wouldn't wait around and she still left. "I'm sorry Ellie" Dina lifts her head. "Can you please go" 

Ellie looks down at the sleeping boy. "Love you" she whispers kissing his head. She gently lays JJ on the sofa. "I love you Dina" Ellie says as a single tear rolls down her cheek. And just like that Ellie left. 

Dina fell the the ground and cried, she cried more than she's ever cried before. Everything hurt. she felt completely heart broken. She loved Ellie more than the world. But she would not allow herself to be hurt again.


	3. Patrol

Dina cried herself to sleep that night. She didn't mean to. of course the plan was to put JJ to bed, But she didn't get that far. JJ slept on the sofa exactly where Ellie had left him. Dina fell asleep on the ground exactly where she fell to her knees after Ellie left. 

"Mama" JJ smiles poking his mother's nose. 

Dina opens her eyes. At first she's confused about why she's on the ground. Then it all comes flooding back to her. she rubs her eyes and sits up. "Hey bud, whatcha got?" 

"Mummy gave me" he smiles holding up his astronaut. 

"Bud" Dina sighs. She takes the astronaut from him. "We need to give this back to mummy, okay?" Dina knew what this ment to Ellie. while it absolutely warmed her heart that Ellie wanted JJ to have it, she knew how much it ment to her. 

"Noo" JJ cried holding his hands out. "Mine" 

"Bud" Dina pick JJ up. "This is very special to mummy. Do u want to give Ollie away?" 

JJ pouts shaking his head. 

"That's probably how mummy feels about this" 

JJ sniffs. "Mummy gave him me" JJ wipes his eyes with his balled fists. "He mine" 

"How about you play with him now" Dina hands JJ the astronaut figure. "But later on we walk to mummy's and give him back?" 

"Okay" JJ pouts. 

"One day you'll understand" Dina kisses jj's head. "Come on bud let's go brush our teeth" 

*********

"Was wonderin when we would run into you" Jesse's parents say as Ellie walks into the bar. 

"Hi, urm yeah" Ellie awkwardly rubs the back of her neck. "Been back a while. I've just been focusing on JJ" 

"If it were up to us you wouldn't be anywhere near our grandson" 

Ellie's eyes widen, she's taken back. The last time she saw them they were completely fine with her. Granted that was back at the farmhouse before she walked out on Dina and JJ.   
"Look I can't ever take back what I did, but I'll spend my life making it up to him" 

"Your nothing to do with him" JJ's grandma spits out. 

Ellie closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. Reminding herself that it would be very unethical to deck a grandma. "JJ calls me mummy. That's all that matters" Ellie pushes her way through the crowd of people. 

"Hey Ellie, you okay?" Maria asks. 

"Yeah, I guess" she take a seat on the free barstool. "I came to ask if their is any work available?" 

"You looking for patrol work or work here in Jackson?" Maria asks. 

"I'll take anything" Ellie plays with the beer mats on the bar. 

"We have patrol work available, it's Dina's route though. She needs a new partner. Jack's about to retire" 

"Who watches JJ ?" Ellie asks confused. 

"He goes to the nursery" 

"Wow... I didn't even know" Ellie asked her head. 

"It's okay" Maria puts her hand on Ellie's shoulder. "You've only been back a month." 

Ellie struggled with the guilt when she first returned. She hates the fact she didn't know JJ's favourite food, or his favourite song. He had changed so much she wouldn't have even recognised him if he went with Dina. 

Ellie nods. "I'll take it" 

"Perfect be at the stabled for 2pm, you start today" Maria smiles before walking away. 

Ellie really hoped Dina would be okay with this. Of course big she wasn't Ellie would give up the job right away. But maybe this would be a good thing. 

******

"Ellie Dina, clear out any infected you see. If you run into anything you can't handle come back. Be smart" they get handed a rifle each. 

"We're together?" Dina asks grabbing Japan's reins. 

"I mean is that okay?" Ellie asks leading shimmer out of the barn. 

"Yeah" 

The girls hop on to their horses and ride out of Jackson. Ellie following Dina, Dina had done this route that many times. She could probably do it with her eyes closed. 

"Tell me about what I've missed" Ellie asks as the slowly ride through an abandoned town. 

"You didn't miss much Ellie" 

"I want to know about his first world's, his first steps, his first everything" 

"He took three steps at 9 months, he walked properly on your birthday just gone" Dina smiles. 

"Wait... Really?" Ellie grins. 

"Yep, his first word... Mama" Dina smiles proudly. 

"So uh Jesse's parents weren't so nice to me earlier" 

"Really?" Dina asks confused. They had never said a bad word about Ellie to her. 

"They uh" Ellie sighs. "They told me I had nothing to do with JJ" 

"I'm sorry Ellie, that's not okay" Dina gives her sympathetic smile. "I'll have a word" 

"You don't have to" Ellie tells her, not wanting to start unnecessary drama. 

"No" Dina shakes her head. "I do, your his mum Ellie. You always have been. Also I don't want JJ hearing   
things like that" 

"Thank you"

"So I told JJ we have to return your astronaut today. Ellie why did you give it to him" Dina asks. 

"He loves it, plus Joel would want him to have it. It's his Dina I'm not taking it back" Ellie tells her. 

"Ellie" Dina sighs. 

"Dina pull back" Ellie whispers. The two girls pull on the horses reins. The horses come to a stop. In the distance Dina sees two clickers facing away from them. "You get right, I'll get left?" Ellie whispers. Dina nods. The two girls sneak up behind the clickers and slice their throats. 

"You good?" Dina asks. 

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah" 

They go back to their horses and continue on their patrol. The next two hours go by extremely uneventful. Ellie cracked a few of her jokes which made Dina laugh. And they arrived back at Jackson with zero casualties. 

"Can I come with you to pick up JJ?" Ellie asks. 

"I don't think that's a good idea Ellie"

"Oh yeah urm okay" she replies. She feels the heat rise in her cheeks as they flush pink. She feels stupid for even asking. 

"I don't want him to get the wrong idea, I'm sorry" Dina explains, before leaving to go get JJ.


	4. One more day, potato.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments. And your helpful tips. ❤️ I appreciate it all. I just wanna let y'all know that I do not claim to be a good writer. I do however enjoy the creative side of creating scenarios for these characters that I love so much. Of course I try my best with grammar and spelling. But I'm definitely not a skilled writer. If that's an issue maybe don't read my story's 😂

It had been a few days since Ellie had seen JJ. After over stepping the mark a few days ago. She felt silly when Dina shot her down. So Ellie decided it was best to stick to there routine. She had jj on Saturdays and that was fine. 

Today is Thursday which ment no work for Ellie. She made her way through the busy streets of Jackson. Not exactly sure where she was heading. She would probably end up and the bar. Stay a few hours and stumble home later. 

Dina sat at home on the sofa , JJ sat on her lap playing with her hair. "Gentle JJ" Dina grabs hold of his small hand to stop him pulling her hair. 

"Mummy" JJ asks with a sad pout. 

"Not today bud" Dina pulls him into her chest and gently rubs his back. "I know I miss her too" 

Dina knew that she only had herself to blame. She pushed Ellie away. And now that Ellie actually was staying away, she isn't sure if that's what she wants. It's clear that it's not what JJ wants. 

Regardless of what JJ wants, she needed to protect him... And herself. It was so easy for Ellie to walk out of the door that day. She never even glanced back. She left them... Left Dina crying in the kitchen and JJ asleep upstairs. She never even kissed him goodbye. 

Dina silently wipes away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "Mama cry" JJ gently kisses his mamas cheek. Dina smiles and rubs her nose against his. 

"Mama's okay baby" JJ never failed to pick up on his mamas emotions. It didn't take much for him to make her happy again. Even a smile would make Dina's heart feel so full. He was her purpose. Her reason for still being on this earth. 

"How about we play legos?" Dina asks. 

"Yay" JJ throws his arms in the air. 

Dina sits cross-legged on The ground with JJ. A huge box of legos in front of them. The two sit and constantly play with the Lego. Both of them happy, genuinely happy. Dina giggles as JJ builds his tower over and over after smashing it down with a "I hulk mash!!" Every time. 

"Wow!! Look at my hulk" dina grins as she grabs the boy by the waist pulling him into her lap. "Mama hulk" Dina roars ticking his tummy. 

JJ giggles trying to escape his mamas grip. "Nope!" Dina smiles. She lifts JJ's t-shirt and blows raspberries on his tummy. "Mamaaaa" JJ wines. 

"Okay okay" Dina giggles letting her son up. Dina looks around the room as JJ settles back on the ground. She watches him play with his Lego. Something's missing. Someone's missing. Dina sighs, "mamas gonna go make tea baby" 

Dina leaves JJ playing on the ground. She goes into the kitchen and starts preparing their food. 

Ellie sits at the bar, Almost done with her 5th bottle of beer. She knew she should go home. But go home to what? their was nobody waiting for her. Nobody to tell her they had missed her. No little boy to tuck into bed. Ellie sighs knocking the beer back in one gulp. 

"Sitting here making your way to the bottom of a bottle ain't gon help kid" Maria tells Ellie softly. 

Ellie let's out a scoff. "Sitting at home ain't helping either" Ellie puts her arms up to call the bartender back over. "I'll take another" she says sliding the bottle across the bar. 

"No, she won't" Maria buts in. She puts her arms under Ellie's and pulls her up from the bar stall. "go home Ellie"

"Get the fuck off me" Ellie shoves Maria off her. "I'VE FUCKING LOST EVERYTHING' she shouts. A few tears slide down Ellie's cheeks. "The fuck you all looking at?" She asks looking around at everyone. Ellie wipes her eyes before stumbling out the bar. 

******

A beam of light shines through the window. Landing on freckles cheeks. The girl frowns pulling the quit over her head. Ellie groans as she feels her head throb. That's what I get for drinking so much she thinks to herself. 

She only had to get through today, just one more day. Then she had jj. Ellie pretty much just existed through the week. Nothing matter to her except for Saturday's. 

Every night that she fell asleep alone, or woke up in bed alone. It only reminded her of what she had lost. Being back in Jackson, surrounded by memory's of Joel was hard. But not as hard as being away from Dina and JJ. Even if seeing Dina was only from a far. She could live with that, she just needed to know they are safe. 

Ellie knew she needed to go apologize to Maria. And tell her that she wouldn't be going on patrols anymore. Being so close yet so far away from Dina would kill her. 

Ellie slowly pulls her head out from under the blanket. She blinks protecting her eyes as her pupils dilate due to the light change. She drags herself out of bed and into the bathroom. Ellie quickly runs across the cold tiles and on the fluffy bathmat. She brushes her teeth and washes her face, before she has a chance to change theirs a knock on her door. 

Ellie opens to door shes faced with Maria. 

"Sorry" they both say at the same time. 

"Look Maria you were just looking our for me, I'm so sorry" Ellie hangs her head in shame. 

"Ellie it's okay, you're hurting. I get it." Maria gives her a soft smile before pulling her in for a hug. 

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to continue on patrol with her" Ellie sighs, not wanting to say Dina's name. 

"I think that's smart. Ellie all I want is for you to be happy" Ellie nods. Maria gently kisses her cheek before leaving.

"One more day my potato" Ellie whispers to herself. She looks around her room, trying to find something that she and JJ could do tomorrow. Ellie frowns not really seeing anything age appropriate. 

"Nothing better to do" she mumbles pulling on her cloths and some boots. Not too far from Jackson is a craft store that had yet to be raided. They found it on their last patrol but decided not to enter as it seemed quiet. 

Ellie makes her way to the stables. "Hey shimmer" she gently pat's shimmers shoulder. "Hey girl" she puts her saddle and tack on her. "That's it girl" Ellie whispers to the horse as she leads her out the stables. 

"Ellie where are you going?" 

Ellie turns around. "Just gonna go see if I can find any supplies" she says truthfully. 

"You sure you wanna go alone?" The guys who's in charge of the stables asks. 

"I'm okay" she smiles. Ellie rides of the gates, headed straight for the craft store. The ride was pretty uneventful. No infected, no hunters. Ellie tied shimmer to a post and made her way stealthily into the store. She quietly kneels behind a shelf listening for any signs of life. "Good" Ellie says, noticing the shop is empty. 

Ellie smiles to herself as she finds the infant section. It's filled with pipe cleaners, pom poms, sqwiggly scissors, tissue paper, cut animal stickers... All the craft supplies that a toddler could want. Ellie stuffs as much as she possibly can into her backpack. She takes a look around the store making sure she had everything that JJ would like before leaving. 

Ellie arrived back in Jackson a little over two hours after she had left. She took shimmers tack off and gave her pat's and kisses. "Good girl" Ellie fills her bucket with some fresh water. "That's a girl" she smiles as shimmer leans her head down to drink it.


End file.
